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Combat Sports Icons who could become President - Vote Now!

March 6, 2017

 With Donald Trump winning the 2016 Presidential Election, it has opened the flood gates for every celebrity and national icon to come out of the woodwork to hint at a possible run at the Nations Highest Authority - but what if the famous faces of Mixed Martial Arts, Pro Wrestling and Boxing decided to step up to the plate and run? Obviously a Trump victory proves nobody gives seven or perhaps eight flying, gliding fucks about prior experience, so it's not unrealistic to believe one of these combat sports icons could become commander and chief. 

 

So let's all vote in our next president in 2020. Let's go down the names, shall we?

 

 

Conor Mcgregor 2020

"You'll do fookin nuttin"

 

Conor Mcgregor's Campaign Promises: Mystic Mac will make bold promises that every night will be red pantie night, as any else would result in capital punishment. He will also make into federal law that you will apologize to absolutely "fookin' noone".  Strict dress code will be enforced in our national work force as you must wear flashy suits and two gold belts everyday. 

 

The Rock 2020

"Layeth The Smackdown"

The Rock's Campaign Promises: He will work on a part-time schedule and be the highest paid human being on the planet while he stars in every single 90's reboot that you've ever loved from your childhood. The secretary position will be renamed to "Giggle Panties", and the Vice Presidential position will be renamed to "Cookie Puss". Pootang Pie and a big fat bowl of fruity pebbies will replace everything on the nutritional pyramid.

 

Mike Tyson 2020

"I'll fuck you till you love me faggot"

Mike Tyson's Campaign Promises: The Baddest President on the planet will make national security his top priority, his style will be impetuous, our defense will be impregnable, and his military will be ferocious. He wants your heart. He will eat your children. Praise be to Allah.

 

 

Dana White 2020

"Do you want to be a fucking fighter"

Dana White's Campaign Promises: The Court System will be abolished, as he believes you should never leave it in the hands of the judges, and martial law will be in effect. Everybody will be renamed to either "Moron", "Fucking Idiot", or "Goof". Just like Pokemon at the beginning of the game, your parents may pick either one at birth. For the rest of the presidential goals, he has commented "We'll have to wait and see". 

 

 

Brock Lesnar 2020

"Suplex City Bitch"

Brock Lesnar's Campaign Promises: Brock Lesnar will put darwin's theory to the test and enforce "The Hunger Games Law", as everybody in the United States will scatter and run for dear life with a 20 minute head start before he starts hunting human for sport for the next four years.

 

So who will you be voting for in the 2020 Presidential Election between these horribly unqualified combat sport legends?

 And if we missed any candidates, comment below!

 

 

 

 

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